Just direct the rant at my uterus and change the words marriage/married to pregnancy/pregnant.
With everyone around me getting pregnant for free, I feel so restless that I am not and cannot get pregnant for free. Let's face it, I ain't gettin any younger here. I just turned 28 and due to the awesomeness that is infertility, I have about 2 years left before things start getting really hard.
I feel like part of my frustration is I've known since before we conceived Charlie that my cervical fluid is the problem. I know what EWCM is supposed to look like* and I know I don't have it. I get just barely EWCM at best. Not stretchy enough to be considered perfect EWCM but not thin enough to just be considered watery.
This is why I am not getting pregnant (well, that and the whole I-don't-ovulate-on-my-own thing) and I feel like if my doctors would just listen to me** we could most likely have a baby already. And this is why it is straight up making me crazy to sit here and have to wait until I can afford to pay to try to have a baby and these little bitches are just running around getting pregnant by having sex for 3 whole days out of a month and BAM pregnant.
But I'm not bitter or anything...
I know all these girls are jealous there's a team of doctors and nurses that are involved in my baby making. They're totally jealous that I get to take hormones and get crazy and get hot flashes and get the ever-so-comfortable dildo cam at least twice a cycle and I'm sure they're jealous I don't have to actually have sex to get pregnant since the doctor will be injecting my uterus with my husband's baby juice.
Jealous. Yeah...right.
I just am really hoping and wishing that his back pay comes in soon. I want to at least try. And hopefully I'll be right about my CM and we'll get pregnant right away.
If not, my husband and uterus better expect some loud ticking...
*Mother nature and her cruel sense of humor gave me EWCM as a teenager...while on birth control. Of course at this point I thought I had some kind of std or something because I had really good EWCM and I thought it was completely abnormal. I'm sorry for wishing you away, please come back.
**If doctors would take the time to listen to their patients once in a while, a lot of time could be saved sometimes. I told my doctor it would be best to start me on 100mg of Clomid instead of the 50mg because I've done this before and I know how my body reacts to it. He starts me on 50mg and on CD14 when I didn't have any follies close to the size they were supposed to be, he says I should have started you at 100mg. I wanted to smack him and yell, Yeah, I think I may have mentioned that already! I also mentioned how I never get EWCM on Clomid or not and he still seemed fairly shocked when I failed to post coital test. *Facepalm*
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